Wishingwell Gift

What do 90% of your customers want to know from you?

2010-09-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

Would it make a difference in your business if you knew what 90% of your customers want to know from you? And what if you could not only give them an answer, but could give them one that they are excited about?

According to the 2010 Cone Cause Evolution Study, 90% of consumers want to know what companies are doing to support causes. That means that your customers are wondering what you stand for. And if you don’t tell them, they are very likely to drop you and become the loyal customer of a company that is supporting a cause. Can you afford to risk losing even 10% of your customers?

Though businesses often feel that they can’t afford to give to non-profits, the truth is that consumers are making it crystal clear that businesses can’t afford not to. Giving to non-profits is an investment in your business as well as an investment in something you care about.

So how do you get involved with a cause that will be meaningful to your customers and to you? How do you find something that customers can get behind and be excited about? How can you structure a program so it actually fits into your budget? And how do you sort through the 1.5 million non-profits in the U.S. alone to find one that is right for your business to partner with?

Wishingwell Consulting can help you to create an effective and authentic corporate philanthropy program that helps you do business better. We want to help you succeed by setting you apart from the competition!

Is your corporate philanthropy program wimpy?

2010-08-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

If your business is like most that I've worked with, you are busy working. Good for you! That's no small feat these days. And also like most businesses, your corporate philanthropy program is almost an afterthought. You've got some money set aside for giving, but deciding who you give it to or how is last minute. Never mind a strategy around giving.

But why do you handle it this way? You are probably smart about most of your other spending, but treat this as a throwaway item and don't make it work hard for you. The problem is that you don't have the time to think about corporate giving. Even if your approach to giving falls into the arena of cause marketing, making it that much more central to your business, it still is often not pulling its weight.

So is your giving program wimpy? And what can you do about it?

First, take this short quiz.

Do you know what you'd like to gain from your giving?
Do you know what you care about changing in the world?
Have you analyzed strategies for maximizing your gift?
Have you laid out clear guidelines (on paper) for handling solicitations? Do solicitors have access to these?
Do you know the non-profit(s) you will work with and how you will work together for maximum benefit for both of you?
Have you thought through how to tell the world about your efforts?

If you answered "No" to any of these questions then you've got a wimpy program. Sorry.

The good news is, there's a lot that can be done about it. First, my favorite solution is to hire me. I can take you through my program to beef up your corporate philanthropy or cause marketing and get it working for you. There are many options for going through the program so you can pick one that is painless for you. The beauty of this solution is that for a small investment, you can fix a problem in your business and get it working for you over multiple years. And you don't have to be the one doing it. As a consultant, my goal is to take something off your plate, fix it, and give it back, with as much or as little involvement from you as you'd like.

Or, if you want to take on the challenge of getting your corporate giving or cause marketing on track, you will have to answer the questions above. There's more to think about, such as handling the relationship with the non-profit, assigning a task team in your business, and being clear about the feedback you'd like from your non-profit. Like any business problem, you'll need to think it all the way through. You will need to focus on the strategy, not just the logistics and tactics. If you are able to approach the problem from a strategy point of view, you will be able to allow your giving to give back to you - from increased sales to warm-fuzzies. And if it feels overwhelming, return to solution #1.

Is Giving for You?

2010-07-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that you've guessed that you know the answer to the title question, even before reading this article. But I think I'm about to surprise you. The answer to t he question, "Is giving for you?" is "Maybe." I've done some posts on how we can all give back without it really costing us much, if anything. I think that many of us can give something, and can maybe even give more than we are currently giving. But that doesn't mean that giving money is for everyone. At least not right now.

During the course of my work, I've talked to a lot of people about giving. One of my recent clients described his favorite charity as "503 see me." It's the response I get a lot. He was joking and is in fact a very generous person. However it highlights the idea that many people are looking for just a little more before they feel like they can give to others. I don't want to argue with this position, just explore it a little more.

In principle, I don't think many people disagree with generosity. There are a lot of folks working hard just to get by, and $20 out of their paychecks has a big impact on them and not such a big one on the charity. If this is the situation, I'm actually inclined to agree that giving money is not a great idea. I believe that we can't take good care of others until we've really taken care of ourselves. If you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs you can see (and you probably already understand on an intuitive level) that our basic needs for survival trump our needs for social belonging, friendship, or taking care of others. So if that $20 means that I won't eat, won't be able to get gas in the car, or can't buy a new pair of pants for my kid who really needs them, or pay off that mountain of credit card debt that's threatening your security, then I'm much less likely to give it to charity. And probably to do the most good in the world, I should be working to help myself and my own family do a little better. That does not mean that those who are struggling to get by don't care about other people. It just means that the money might be best spent where it will have the most impact first, because we know that if we don't gas up our car to get to work, no one else will.

For people that are not living so close to the edge, giving might be more reasonable, but maybe still not likely. Maybe you're working hard to save some money for your kid's education, to buy a new car, or to go on vacation. Taking some money out of this stash to give to charity might seem painful and seem to put you on an endless treadmill to work more to reach these goals. It might feel that if you didn't take out this charitable contribution you'd be that much closer to where you need to be, and you can finally relax, retire, or at least send your child to school. Giving is hard. But if you do have a little extra, you might actually see it as a luxury you can afford: giving to charities doing the hard work of making the world a place you want to live. This is where "giving well" comes in. No matter how much money you have, if you've got any amount to give, you don't want to see it thrown away. Giving to charities that do work you really care about, and do it well, may help you feel that giving is a luxury, because you are participating and having your voice and values heard by putting your money where your heart is.

If you've got more money, then I would say that you have a responsibility to help the world. Sure, there are some greedy rich folks out there who want to hoard everything and don't care about the little guy, but my personal experience is that there are also some extraordinary givers out there who have hearts even bigger than their wallets. In the words of Bill Gates, "I believe that with great wealth comes great responsibility, a responsibility to give back to society, a responsibility to see that those resources are put to work in the best possible way to help those most in need."

In short, the answer to the question, "Is Giving for You?" depends on several factors, including how much you have, but also on how much you feel there is abundance in your life. I've known many givers that have little and find a way to give joyfully. It isn't always money, but their gifts were always meaningful. One thing I can promise is this, if your mindset is negative, and you give feeling taken advantage of, not much good will come of it. If you can give with an open heart, your gift will transform you.

Cause Marketing for YOUR small business

2010-06-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

Small business owners are constantly looking for something that will give them an edge; differentiate them from the competition. By now, we have all heard of cause marketing. Almost any business can implement an effective cause marketing campaign that can have benefits for you, tangible and not-so-tangible. Think that somehow you are left out? Not true. Read on.

Believe it:

Many small business owners believe that their company is too small to need a cause marketing campaign, because when they think of cause marketing they automatically think about Avon or Pepsi, or another one of the giants out there. The first step to implementing cause marketing into your small business is to believe that there is a niche for you. There’s almost nothing that can prevent you from having a great cause marketing campaign, size and profits included. In fact, a great cause marketing plan from the little guy can feel more authentic than one from a behemoth company.

Get Help:

CEOs and marketing professionals know that with a business to run day to day it is difficult to find the time to design and implement an effective, authentic cause marketing strategy. If you find this is true for you, do yourself a favor and get some help. The last thing you want to do is waste everyone’s time (read: money) attempting to do something that you don’t have the time, expertise or will to see to the end. A small investment upfront can save you a bundle in the end in terms of lost time. And that doesn’t even take into account the financial benefits you can reap with a good cause marketing campaign!

Define it:

Cause marketing tells your customers about a mutually beneficial relationship between your business and a non-profit. This relationship is an investment in your company that serves to further your business goals while also making an impact on the world. If you don’t have a handle on what it is and what it can do for you, an effective cause marketing campaign will continue to elude you.

Identify Barriers:

The statistics out there clearly show that cause marketing is marketing that works. But if it were that easy to do, everyone would be doing it. Even among the folks that are trying, some are not doing it well. So what goes wrong in the process? Here are a few of the biggies:

1. Lack of Commitment: Your company gets geared up to launch the new cause marketing strategy, but inevitably, there are bumps in the road. Without a deeper commitment to the “cause” in the cause marketing equation, your business won’t have the stamina to work to get it right. Make sure that your cause is one that your business is passionate about.

Lack of Direction: Once you’ve found your passion, you must have a clear plan regarding what you are actually doing. Are you giving a percentage of each sale, giving a flat donation, or doing something else? Make sure you know what your plan is before you get started. It’s not enough to market that you are partnering with X charity and then not know what you are actually giving them.

Lack of Clarity about Expectations: You’ll want to have clear expectations and open communication with the non-profit, with your employees, and with yourself. If no one, including you knows what to expect, how will you know when you’ve gotten there or when you’ve failed? How will you know how to make corrections along the way?

Lack of Authenticity: If your company doesn’t care about the cause it has chosen, if there is a perception that it doesn’t care, or it is incongruous for some reason, your campaign won’t work. There’s no getting around this one, and there are no tricks. If there’s no heart, forget it.

Go for it:

Once you’ve created your plan, go for it. There’s customer loyalty to be won, sales to be increased, and a world to be helped, starting with your campaign.

5 questions of Giving Well

2010-05-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

I will continue with "101 ways (almost) anyone can give back" soon, but for now, a quick post on 5 questions to ask yourself about giving to help you give well.

What is giving well? Anyone can give willy-nilly. You can give away more money than you have (and then some) if you'd like. But giving well suggests it has certain effect that you intend. The effect of giving is two-fold: the effect it has on you, the giver, and the effect on the receiver.

You should feel great about the gift - you should know that you've given it to the right place to accomplish what you want it to accomplish. And the receiver should feel great too, knowing that the gift will help them accomplish their mission, and that it has come from a donor that really cares - not one that felt bad enough for them to write a check. (Secretly, I hate the word "charity" because it makes non-profits seem pitiable rather than empowered organizations charged with facilitating good, but that's a blog post for another day.)

So what 5 questions can you ask that can help you take charge of your giving and move it towards achieving the effects that you plan on?

1. What do I care about? Think about your passions, whether easily related to charity (kids) or not (pancakes) and figure out the bridge between that thing and charity. Refine it as much as you can. Is it kids with cancer that you care about? Homeless kids? Or is it using a pancake breakfast to bring families together on Saturday morning to reinforce family values? Whatever your passion, there's probably a way to connect it with a non-profit and that connection is a great start to feel good about your giving.

If you decide you care about homeless kids, what is it exactly that you'd like to see done? Do you want to house them? Or do you want to make sure they can go to school? Do you want to create a place where they can play with other kids safely? Think about the specific mission you'd like to help with.

2. Where do I want to see my gift at work? Is there a part of the world that you care most about? It may be your community, it may be somewhere that was hit by a natural disaster, or maybe a developing nation. Given what you care about, is there a natural connection to where you could give?

3. How do I believe my goals should be accomplished? How do organizations go about achieving the mission you have defined above? If you have decided that your passion is housing homeless kids, you may find the HOW has many different possible answers. For example, one organization may focus on providing money for rent for families that might become homeless (prevention) while another organization might look at domestic violence. What aspect of HOW to help appeals to you? You can also keep asking how - how should domestic violence be addressed? Is it education, support, or something else? Refine your idea until it feels right to you.

4. When do I want to see the impact of my gift? Some gifts have an immediate impact, such as handing money to someone on the street. Others take time to do their work, such as investing in a new building for an after-school program or a scholarship fund. You can consider how immediate the impact needs to be for the what, where and how you have decided on.

5. Who should I donate to or volunteer for? Most people who give jump immediately to answering this question without considering the other four. Answering this question well is work on it's own, but while your dollar or time investment may be the same as it would be if you had taken the time to answer the other questions, the satisfaction you get from giving your time and money will be less. Think about it: Would you be more satisfied to just write a check to the next organization that solicits you, or would you feel better knowing that you sought out an organization that does work that is truly in line with your own values and sense of how to make the world a better place?

When you have answered the first four questions, you are prepared to answer WHO. You know what WHO does, so your task is to find them. Once you have, you can check them out using various websites designed to rate charities, such as charitynavigator.com or guidestar.com.

The experience of giving should leave you inspired and excited. No matter how much or little you have to give, if you give at all you should do it well. You work hard for your money and giving it poorly won't create the positive impacts that giving well can. Now for my shameless plug: You can answer these questions for yourself, but if you or your business would like me to coach you through this process as well as the rest of my program, I would be happy to help and expect you to be thrilled with the results!

10 more ways to give back.

2010-04-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

My quest is to blog about 101 ways that almost anyone can give back. My last entry started with 10, and today I'm giving you 10 more. I won't stop until I get to 101! Not every idea is for every person, but if there's one that resonates with you and causes you to do something differently, then I will be satisfied. Here we go:

11. Grow your own: For a few dollars, you can buy a packet of seeds, some soil and a planter. Grow something and give it away to your neighbors. It may be something big, that they will have to transplant out of the pot, or something that's happy in that same pot all summer. Just imagine their joy when they can grab some fresh basil from their windowsill or pluck a juicy melon from the yard. They are sure to think of you!

12. Start a campaign: Many non-profits will send you all the materials you need (except stamps) so you can mail out requests to family and friends for a donation. Even if you can send out a just few letters and get a few dollars back, you have raised awareness and money for a cause you care about. All for the cost of a few stamps.

13. John Hancock: Sign a petition for something that needs changing. All those names mean something to our legislators. There are many websites that allow you to sign online, such as care2.com. Keep your eyes open for other websites or places in your community where you can sign one.

14. Just sit there: We love you Google. (We really do.) But next time you need to search for something, use www.goodsearch.com instead. They donate to a charity of your choice every time you search.

15. Link up: If you have a website, blog, or are on twitter or facebook, get the word out there about a cause or non-profit. Add a link to your page or write about a topic that means something to you. The more you help others become aware, the more you are making a difference. Try to inspire rather than preach. People who are inspired give back and people that feel obligated can often try to avoid.

16. Room to think: One of the keys to community is having a space to come together. Do you have a basement, a garden, or a living room that could be used for community building? Maybe members of a non-profit could use your space for something and save on the cost of renting a space. Call some non-profits and engage them in helping you to think creatively about how the space might benefit them.

17. Opportunity knocks: Be aware of what needs to be done in your community. Get involved with neighbors or a specific department. There can be volunteer opportunities in schools, at the park & rec department, or at your library. Think about what would make your community a better place to be, and then do something about it.

18. The Charity Yard Sale: Yes, you'd like to make a few bucks off of your old stuff. If you advertised that 1/3 of the proceeds from the yard sale were going to a specific charity, I wonder if people would be more willing to pay you top dollar rather than haggle over prices. Maybe you'd end up making more money in the end. . .

19. Grow your own #2: If you have long hair that you plan to cut off, donate it rather than throwing it away.
www.locksoflove.org/donate.html will accept a ponytail of 10" or longer to create a wig for kids who have lost hair due to a medical condition. Check with your hairdresser and they may do everything for you.

20. Offer wisdom: You have a lot of it no matter what your role. Are you a CEO, a stay-at-home mom, a factory worker? No matter what you do or have done in the past, there's someone out there who would love to know what you know. Be generous with people who ask and try to find avenues for it. That might mean mentoring new moms or responding to requests for informational interviews. No matter what it is, figure out how to pay it forward.

101 ways (almost) anyone can give back

2010-04-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

Much of the focus in philanthropy is on big gifts and givers, from the Omidyars, to the Gates and Warren Buffett. But most of us don't have a couple of million lying around to give. Does that mean that we should do nothing and wait around for others to build the world we want? Not only does that remove our power, voice and responsibility, it also makes the task of changing the world impossible. The truth is they can't do it alone. Because it's not only about money. It's also about being a socially responsible person. It's about caring about what you care about (because maybe no one will ever donate a million dollars to your local animal shelter) and its about inspiring those around you to do what they can too. Here are ten ideas for giving back.

1. Round up: Instead of a book club, form a giving circle with friends. Fund your giving with the money you would normally spend on the book. If your circle has 10 members, and you each put $10 in your fund, you have $100/month to give to a cause you care about. You can talk about which charities you care about & which social problems need help. You can also get to know your friends on a different level. Yes, you can still drink wine and talk about Jersey Shore.

2. Be a good neighbor: Take an elderly neighbor to the grocery store with you or offer to pick up a couple of things. Social service agencies can't always replace an organic human connection.

3. Purge!: Clean out your closet and donate to charity. It's not rocket science, but when was the last time you actually did it?

4. Can-do: Drop a can (or two) in the box at the grocery store for your local food pantry. Put it on your list so after you check out you are not trying to decide between giving and being two cans short for your own meals.

5. Everybody clean up: The song that kids sing when picking up their toys comes to mind. Don't know it? Ask any mom. If the kids can do it, so can we. Next time you see trash when you are walking, pick up one piece and throw it in the trash can. See, that didn't hurt a bit.

6. Cha-ching!: Instead of letting it sit around for years, donate the contents of your change jar to charity. It's money, people! Let it do something.

7. Re-gift: The next time you have a party that guests might bring a gift to - birthday, anniversary, or even a dinner party, include on the invitation the following line,"In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to X charity." You can have as much fun with this as you want. Try, "Nancy has way too much stuff, so please, if you value our friendship and would like to see me continue to have space in our closet, don't bring any gifts. You can, however, make a donation to X." How about, "Don't bring wine, last time that happened I drank it all! If you want, bring 10 bucks and we'll donate it to charity."

8. FUN-draiser: Throw your own. Who says they have to be formal and expensive? Sell tickets to an "event" in your own back yard. Friends will be glad to come and contribute. You might even see if there is a way to include someone or something from your charity into the event.

9. The Dunk Tank Effect: Who wouldn't pay $5 to see their boss take it in the face with a Boston Cream Pie? You just need a good sport and a little marketing.

10. Not-so-Celebrity Auction: Ok, no one is going to pay $100,000 for a dress you wore. But do you have something people would pay for? Maybe it's the expertise you've gained at your job. It could be sharing what you know about something you love. Maybe it's your original artwork. Get creative.

It's all about creativity, consciousness, and connection. More ideas to come!

Any Good is Good

2010-04-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

I recently had an exchange with someone who was frustrated with people who give "restricted" gifts - those given by the donor with specific instructions about where the gift is (and is not) to be used. Think of when you were 8 and your grandmother pressed $5 into your palm, instructing you to use it for your new school clothes. It's the same idea - a donor gives money to a non-profit with instructions on what it's for, such as new books, transportation costs, or computers.

We all work hard for our money. If we decide to give it away, I believe that we should feel good, even inspired. The more that giving feels good to those who give, the more givers will do it and encourage others to do so too. And over the long term, that is what will begin to shift the world.

One of the arguments against restricted gifts was that it circumvented the expertise of those working in non-profits. It is those leaders who know where the money really needs to go. My thought on this is that everything needs to be paid for, but some of the needs are more pressing than others. If there is a donor who really wants to give you new computers, but you got new computers last year, then be creative! Set up a fund with a plan to cash out and buy new computers 5 years from now, see if there's another organization who serves the same population who does need computers, or simply say "no thank you, but we could really use X if you can help us with that." The point is that it won't always work out, but getting creative, building a relationship with donors, and helping donors to feel that they are being as helpful as possible is better than cutting off any potential the donor had to feel connected to the cause.

As much as we don't like to think about our hard-earned money going towards repairing the non-profit's roof, or paying salaries because we really want it to go "directly to the clients" the truth is, its all for the benefit of the clients. That is the very reason for the existence of the organization.

As giving becomes a more deeply ingrained part of our culture, this will be less of an issue. Everyone is passionate about something, and for every thing you can imagine (and many things you can't) there are fans. So maybe the local roofing company decides to contribute to a fund for the non-profit's new roof, building it's own business and helping the non-profit at the same time, but you could think of nothing more boring than spending money on someone else's roof. That's okay! Non-profits are smart and creative enough to work with donors to make giving a great experience. And donors are smart enough to work with me to create a plan that allows them to give consciously!

Being concerned that people give restricted gifts is denying the passion of the giver, cutting off the expression and attachment to the gift - often the very reasons that the giver gave in the first place. It is looking at philanthropy from a glass-half-empty viewpoint, suggesting that there will not be enough and we are all buying dessert and none of us ordering from the main menu. I would rather focus on growing the pie, so we can all order what we want.

American Ennui

2010-03-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

ennui (uncountable)

A gripping listlessness or melancholia caused by boredom; depression.

I think it is ironic that many of us are lonely, depressed, bored, or suffering from a "is this all there is?" feeling that I have called "American Ennui." Ironic because there are also many of us feeling lonely, desperate, disconnected and in need of help. If we were more connected we might find that the answer to our problem lies in working with another person.

American Ennui is a feeling that we've heard described before and we see illustrated dramatically in the crash-and-burn lifestyles of celebrities who seem to have it all, and who waste it. I believe that it is largely because of a lack of direction, magnified in celebrities (and widely publicized) because they often don't know who likes them for them and who likes them for their celebrity status. It is the ultimate in feeling disconnected.

It happens to many of us in a more private fashion however, when we feel that despite our lives that seem like they should work, they just don't. The lack of real connection and intimacy, meaning and direction eats at us. We go to jobs we don't care about, work with people and bosses we don't like, feel undervalued, and don't tap into our creativity and inner resources. We end up feeling like we are living half-lives in black and white. Working to get to the weekend, and ticking off the days on the calendar as we go, just to have it ultimately be a countdown to the end of our lives.

We also don't have the same community connections that we have had in the past. Lives used to be much more interconnected than they are now. You don't have to work very hard to literally not leave your house for days at a time.

I believe this ennui could largely be erased by feeling that our lives had meaning through being connected to others. It can happen at work through a group volunteer program, or through volunteering on your own time. Or it could be texting to give money to a cause, or cooking a meal for a friend that just had a baby, asking a driver on the side of the road if she needs help, or smiling at someone who looks like they need it. It could also be finding a way to share the hobby that you love with others. Whatever it is that connects you to another, especially to another that needs the connection too, helps both of you to feel better about life and more engaged in it. The more "light" that we create in this way, the more light there is in the world and it becomes a better place to live.

What thoughts do you have about this feeling? How do you see it in your own life or the lives of others? Describe what would make it better? Leave your comments here!

Giving your way to Happiness

2010-03-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

There have been books such as Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intention and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, as well as many others which discuss the concept of the "Law of Attraction." The Law of Attraction is basically that what you are is what you will find more of in your life. If you think positive thoughts, you will attract positive events and energy. If you are generous, you will attract generousity. It sounds like a new-age, incredibly hokey concept. But let's examine it for a minute.
There has been plenty of science that supports the benefits of positive thinking. My understanding of the Law of Attraction is basically that it is positive thinking + positive action. Let's look at an example of how the Law of Attraction might change an outcome:

Jane is feeling down and isolated from her friends. In fact, she doesn't even feel her friends like her anymore since no one has called her in over a week. She walks to the coffee shop, head down, feeling bad and thinking, "I'm so lonely. I'm a loser. Who would want to be friends with me anyway?" Her day doesn't improve.

Jill is also feeling down. She decides that she is going to push these bad feelings away and make the most of her day. Even though no one has called her in over a week, she calls one of her friends. "Hey Jill, where have you been?" her friend asks, "you haven't called me in over a week!" After that, Jill walks to the coffee shop and notices the beautiful weather - and someone smiling at her. She's feeling a lot better.

In this example, positive thoughts plus positive action seemingly move the universe to give Jill a different response than Jane got. They each got what they gave and it wasn't too hard to see why. Now, this is admittedly a simplified example, but we can see how it works. If you take an open, positive stance in life rather than a fetal-position, waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop attitude, you are more likely to "attract" open positive events in your life.

So how does this apply to giving?

Just as in the example above, you miss opportunities and benefits if you don't give.

Many of us have read about the health and psychological benefits that we receive from altruism, including stress relief, increased peace of mind, and improved social support. If you give from your heart to something you care about you cannot help but get something back. It's like trying to be angry with a huge smile on your face. Because you put yourself into that state of grace, you can't help but feel better. It also opens you up to opportunities. If you are a giver, people will want to give back to you. If you give to those less fortunate, your problems will likely seem smaller. If you are giving to something you care about, you are building the vision you have for a better world.

Giving well, which means giving to something you are passionate about in a way that resonates with who you are, will almost definitely put you in a state of mind that is more open, optimistic, generous and peaceful. These attributes alone should be enough to make you want to give. Who doesn't want to feel that way? But that is not all that happens. People are attracted to positive people. Your blessings seem to grow. The mystery of the "Law of Attraction" starts to work for you. By becoming more open and generous you begin to change the lives of others, and your own life as well.

Help a Life

2010-03-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

The other day I spoke with someone - lets call her Elizabeth - who was telling me about her giving experiences at work. Last year, her company collected used clothing to donate to charity. It was a hit! Her co-workers brought in jeans and sweaters, sneakers and jackets. People ran into the store and dropped off bags and bags. Some even got mailed in! But the problem was, her company hadn't decided where it should go and what cause they wanted to support. So when the drive was over, they packed a closet to the gills with clothing and got back to work. The stuff that people were so glad to get rid of, the things cluttering up the closets of Elizabeth and her co-workers, were now cluttering spaces at work! Not exactly what they had intended.

Months later, she did come up with a plan about where to donate it. Elizabeth was glad to have the closet back.

But best of all, the recipient was thrilled. It was just what they needed - so many people who didn't have a pair of sneakers or a warm sweater got it. What this particular charity couldn't use they sold and that money went towards some of their programs.

The lesson was this: that stuff that was clutter to some was treasure to others. It wasn't at all painful to give - in fact, in this case it was a service to get rid of things that the original owner didn't want anymore. And it did actually mean something. Elizabeth was surprised about how much it meant. When she talked to the staff member at the non-profit she couldn't help but see how grateful she was and how immediately the gift would go to help someone in need. Elizabeth had given before, but it was exciting and eye opening for her to "follow" that gift and see what happened to it, rather than simply drop a sweater in the donation bin and hope that it did something good.

What I came away with was a re-affirmation that giving really does matter. It doesn't have to be a large gift to make a difference. Instead of becoming hopeless because our gift feels to small to change a life, we can focus on helping a life to be a little bit better. I think if people really believed that any gift could help a life, we would all be a little more inclined to give.

(Names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the charitable)

Why Give?

2010-03-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Why SHOULD we give? Is that really the question? I once had a teacher that told me, "Don't should on yourself." He was right. "Should" is in most of our minds synonymous with guilt, obligation, being dragged to do something, as in "I should be at the gym" or "I should take out the trash." Shoulding on yourself really is an unpleasant experience.

We have come to think of giving in that same way. "I should volunteer." "I should donate some of my paycheck to this charity thing at work." But it leaves us with kind of a sick feeling. We feel obligated, feel somehow it's the right thing to do, but don't really feel connected to it, and sometimes even feel taken advantage of and angry. After all, you have worked hard for your money and you have very little free time, so it makes sense that these demands could leave you feeling resentful and wanting to put up boundaries. But that's actually the opposite of what giving could be.

Instead imagine putting your time and resources into something that made you feel excited and inspired.
Imagine that you felt like you were really touching lives or making a difference in some way.
Imagine that instead of something you should do, giving was something you wanted to do.

What would it take for giving to be that kind of experience for you? I believe each one of us has something that makes us feel ALIVE in that way, whether it is playing with kids or mountain climbing. There is something that gets us so jazzed we could talk about it all day and night and we want everyone to share this interest with us because it's just so cool. That's the sweet spot.

If you do that thing, it will enrich your life. But if you share it with others through giving you take it to the next level. Not only are you involved with something you love, but you share it with others who really need it. It comes back full circle - you participate in whatever way you choose in your passion, you share it in a way that offers great benefit to someone or something else, and then you benefit again by gaining the glow that comes with helping. There are a cascade of other benefits as well. But the glow of giving to something that you care deeply about and knowing that you've helped others too feels amazing.

So why should we give? Not because we should. Because we each have something unique to share that is just bursting to get out. Oh, and it makes the world a better place too. Perfect.

Best Gift Ever

2010-02-11T11:55:00.001-08:00

It was not too long ago that I was working as a social worker at a community hospital. Direct service with clients was amazing - fun, difficult, heart-breaking and inspiring - just about every day. But changes in my life and a bigger vision of what I could accomplish caused me to take a new direction.

It was great for me to help out, but I knew if I could motivate others to help I could do even more. Some of the things I saw you wouldn't believe. And it is amazing that in this country, in this day, while most of us are worried about our next vacation or saving for retirement, that those things are happening.

Can you imagine, after a long, hard day, when all you want to do is go home, get on some sweat pants, sink into the sofa and switch on the TV, that you are actually homeless? You have no place to go to recover from your stressful life, but you hunker down on a park bench or in a shelter, where you have to worry about your belongings being stolen or worse, being assaulted? It's just one small example of so many things that need to be addressed in the world. It was easy to feel overwhelmed by it. But working together, there's a lot we can accomplish.

I have started my own consulting practice to help people help others. It is www.wishingwellconsulting.com I work with people and businesses to help focus on what is REALLY important for you to see changed in the world, and create a plan to accomplish these goals. I believe that giving helps others, but most of all, it actually helps the giver. Starting this business and working with clients to help them see the world improved and see their mark made is a beautiful gift. Giving back is truly the best gift ever.